Feeling a Little Proud of Myself This Week

I had quite an exciting week with my New York Times debut! I wrote an essay for the Anxiety column about the day I was groped on a subway car while two undercover cops watched. Instead of defending myself, I froze in fear and embarrassment which only cultivated deeper fear and embarrassment. I was honored to be published and quite shocked at the response the piece received. With 547 comments and counting, I couldn’t believe how many people have had similar experiences, helpful advice, and a few funny perspectives. Mostly, I’m fortunate to have had the opportunity to bring an obviously rampant issue to light. See a few of my favorite comments below the excerpt…

NY-Times-Logo_250

I Was Groped On The Subway BY: KIMBERLY MATUS

I was late as usual, weaving through the 72nd Street subway station, rushing down the stairs to catch a departing train, and managed to squeeze into one of the packed cars just in time. It was Friday, a few weeks after my 29th birthday. I was on my way downtown to my job at my family’s taxi business, casually dressed in leggings and a striped orange dress. I pushed my still wet hair out of my face and found a sliver of space to stand. As the doors were closing, one more person shoved his way in and the car let out a collective groan.

As the train pulled away from the platform, I felt a man pressing harder and harder against my backside. I tried to evade him but couldn’t move an inch in any direction. I looked over my shoulder thinking the buckle of his bag must have been digging into me but there was no bag. Only his navy sweat pants. Is that what I think it is? It can’t be. Read the rest of the article here….

Some of the responses…

B.S., Seattle, WA: ”Kims’ piece concerning a groper in today’s Times rang a bell with me! I am 82, but in my high school days (very long time ago), going to school meant taking the subway (from Brooklyn, to mid-town Manhattan). At one station a well-recognized groper entered the train (we all knew him)… as the train filled, he came closer and closer with the same disgusting results Kim had- however I used a hat pin to solve the problem. This pin was a straight pin, about 3 inches long, with a blob of glass fixed to one end and very sharp at the other end. Women used such pins to keep their hats from blowing away in the wind. I wore this one under my coat lapel. In this case the pin was vigorously applied to the gropers hand, and was left in place! He never came near us again. Not a nice thing to do, but functional….”Malcolm, Austin: Kimberly, it had to take a ton of courage to write and publish this, but it will help other women in those situations.

SFish, New York, NY: ”..the most important detail: the sweatpants. Ask any stripper–that’s the sign of an experienced perv. Easy access, maximum contact/sensation. Every time I’ve been flashed, rubbed up against, or groped on the NYC subway, the perpetrator was sweatpants-clad.”

MD, St. Louis: As a journalist, I was groped by a national political figure in broad daylight, who grabbed my breast twice as I interviewed him. there were multiple witnesses. Eyebrows went up but no one said a thing and I understand. The witnesses feared for their jobs and careers. I knew I would be scorned and doubted and humiliated by my editors, who would have never wanted to take on this powerful creep. Women everywhere will tell you that bringing it up just brings on more abuse. I don’t know the answer, but I believe Those with the courage to come forward. Thank you for this column.

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

I hope not, but if so I’d love to know how you handled it. Here’s to us all being brave and safe.

Posted on May 16, 2013 at 6:00 am | 3 Comments

A Crazy Rant That Only a Pregnant Lady Can Get Away With (I Hope)

This bump has taken over my life already. Everything I eat and do revolves around this boxer in my belly.I take giant bags to work filled with organic, healthy food that I relentlessly devour throughout the day. Then, by the time I get home, I am STARVING again. Poor Dean has the option of cooking (ha!), ordering in (again!), or eating my mostly plant-based dinner. Never has the man eaten so much salad, spinach, kale, brussel sprouts, and a little more veg on the side. Where has his carnivore wanna-be-chef wife gone? Not to mention my hair. My hair has been horrible. (OK- this is a digression, I know, but I finally went for a highlight at an organic, no chemical salon in Tribeca. Cut was fab, color was a little red but SO much better).Anyway.. back to the FOOD. SO…. I don’t want to really cook, but I do want to eat healthy. And chicken makes me gag. Even writing that evil word… gag.

Enter: Blue Apron. You order 3 meals and they deliver local, healthy ingredients that can be made into a great meal in 30 minutes or less. I went with the vegetarian for two. Sorry, Dean. It arrived in a cooler box with little bags of the right portion size. No measuring cups, no wasted leftovers.

This week’s menu is:

Kung Pao Tofu with Chinese Broccoli & Brown Rice

Quinoa with Baby Squashes, Basil & French Feta Cheese

Spring Minestrone with Fresh Fava Beans & Asparagus

Will report back in my adventures of eating for two with aversions for ten. Up tonight (recipe and ingredients included):

Kung_Pao_TofuFINAL_detail

Kung_Pao_Tofu_back_detail

* Blue Apron has no idea who I am or what this blog is. This is NOT a sponsored post. *

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 6:00 am | Leave a Comment

Knocked Up: The Prequel

There is a prequel to my “I’m pregnant” announcement post from last week. It’s not a happy story, but I promise a happy ending. It’s important to me to share not just the highs, but the occasional lows. Because that’s life.

Dean and I were married a year before trying. Two months after that one year mark passed my little pee stick said positive. We were thrilled. But when I went for my first ultrasound the doctor’s face scrunched and her head tilted as she looked at the screen. She crumpled two photos of an empty gestational sac behind her back and slowly dropped them in the trash can. “We can’t confirm this pregnancy is viable at this time. Come back in a week.”

We blamed the Dr’s bedside manner and pinned the lack of development on being off on my dates. But, honestly, I knew something was wrong. A week later. Another ultrasound. Another grumpy doctor. Another non-conclusive result. After two more appointments, the doctor said abruptly: “I’m calling it.” In a rare moment of anger, Dean wanted her to look harder, spend more time analyzing, change her mind. I was strangely relieved. I couldn’t spend another day fearing the fate of this baby.

Through the limbo and then the loss, Dean was the best husband and hand-holder. He did not waver through my many, many weeks of sadness. Soon after, I was miraculously pregnant again. At my first ultrasound, there was no scrunched face, no tilted head, no crumpled paper. This baby is healthy. With each successful appointment in the last five months, I let go of my fears a little more and vow to just enjoy this pregnancy. Even when I complain to Dean about a pregnancy symptom, it comes with a very proud smile. I learned the only thing that is in my control is to be positive, I have to let my body and mother nature do the rest.

Now everyone, do me a favor, say a “poo, poo, poo” or “kenahara” or throw some salt over your shoulder. Whatever your custom is for good luck, let’s do it. Oh, and by the way…
1b546f4ee99548797406729f5657f0cd

Posted on April 25, 2013 at 6:00 am | 8 Comments

Why I Haven’t Been Blogging: A Detailed Confession

I haven’t been a very good blogger because of my new favorite excuse…

photo-24

I’m so thrilled to share that I’m pregnant. It felt like if I couldn’t share that with you, then what was the point? So, I just went radio silent.

I couldn’t pretend to be cooking because, quite frankly, I haven’t been cooking. And the very little I have been cooking is so healthy it would make you sad.

I couldn’t pretend I was following a new fashion trend because my most fashionable trend has been using a rubber band to help (not) close my pants.

I couldn’t pretend to be busy with DIYs because I’ve only been working on this one do-it-Ourself project.

I feel so lucky. I’ve got a great man and a precious little one joining our little family by the end of the summer.

Posted on April 15, 2013 at 6:00 am | 17 Comments

Happy Weekend & A Clueless Guide To Washington, DC

Last weekend, we explored Washington, DC and overlapped with Love Them Madly (less 1 of Them).

~~It was my first time in DC.~~ It felt like my first time in DC. I proved to have no memory, no sense of direction, and no organization even though I spent four years living in the District during college. Reaching for the gingko biloba right now.

The main goal of the weekend was to see the cherry blossoms which were scheduled to peak while we were there. When this happens, the whole Mall is pink. Every grey, beige, and brown monument is suddenly that much more stunning. Of course, it snowed during the week and not only was it not the peak but it was difficult to find the one blossomed tree we found. We couldn’t help but laugh when we stepped back into our NYC apartment building only to find giant vases filled with gorgeous cherry blossoms. We chose to ignore the message.

;

DC- capitol